This is really an open letter to your friends and family.
There are things that need to be said when we want to make a change in our lives and the people closest to us are creating barriers to that change. We don’t want to hurt the people that we love and that makes it all the more difficult to have these conversations. On the other hand, they need to know how much they are hurting *us.*
This part is for your friend to read or for you to read to your friend.
“Hello friend, I have decided to take steps to improve my life. You may or may not agree with these changes but they are my choice. Please honor that choice.
How can you honor me and my life changes?
Start by asking how I want to be supported.
(Reader, you could also suggest how you would like their help rather than waiting for them to ask….)
If I have asked you to remind me of my decision and see I am about to take a second helping or an extra large portion, please ask if I am still really hungry. Chances are I’m not.
If I am full or have already decided to stop eating, please do not offer me desert or another serving. You wouldn’t dream of offering an alcoholic a drink would you? It’s no different.
Tempting me with more food or whatever is NOT a loving thing to do. It can be cruel and destructive.
Thank you for being my friend and it helps to know I am not alone. Can I count on your support as a friend?”
It is important to communicate and clarify any boundaries and expectations. If your friends don’t know how they can help you or how they are hurting you, what do you expect?
Speak to one another in friendship and love. You’ll be amazed how much that can impact your fears and spur you on to success. Do it!
Please, please feel free to forward this to a friend. Copy and paste… Whatever it takes to get the help you want.
If you’re still not sure how to have a difficult conversation about getting support for life change, then please drop me a note. We will find a way to chat for a few minutes and get you moving. firstname.lastname@example.org.